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Posts Tagged ‘Pregnancy’

i’ll be 32 on my next birthday, but more importantly, i’m 32 today!! 32 weeks pregnant. so happy to have reached my 3rd gestational goal. next up is 35. at 35 (or 36 depending) my doctor promised that my restrictions would be lifted. i didn’t ask for clarification as to if that meant i could at least take short trips out or if that actually means i’m free and can resume my daily activities which would include going back to work. either way- at least i see a light at the end of the tunnel. well, i always had the BIG light (baby) in mind at the end. i mean really, that’s why i’m tolerating all of THIS! (:

anyway life has been very busy around these parts. the andrews household had a  mini make over this week. i think jim got his nesting bug and deciding things needed to change around here before baby came home. we had been talking about getting new living room furniture for months. well, last week he pulled the trigger. we got a new sectional couch, an ottoman, some prints to hang in the living room and hallway, curtains and curtain rods and two new chairs. it makes a huge difference. it feels like we’ve moved. the furniture we had in the living room before was too bulky for the space. with the new furniture it feels like we’ve gained lots of space and it feels more “airy”. jim’s parents came up to help him get everything put together and in place. they also brought up treats for us- a crib, desk (which will become a changing table) and cute clothes for the baby. now we can have more than 2 people over at a time and not feel like we’re siting on top of each other.

we had our bi-weekly doctor’s appointment a little earlier this week. this past thursday evening  i started cramping. i took a hot shower and went to bed and hoped that in the morning it would be gone. i got up and felt a little better, but as the morning progressed they increased in intensity. i texted the doctor and she told us to come in right away. she checked my cervix and it was closed (good sign) and also did a FFN test. what’s that? this: http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/pretermlabor_fetalfibronectin.html basically it is supposed to measure the likelihood of delivery in the next 2 weeks. i came home and tried to take it easy the rest of the day. later we got a text from the doc letting us know the FFN test was negative. hooray!! that will take us almost all the way to 35 weeks. now, that doesn’t mean i can go jumping on trampolines. i still have to be diligent with my bed resting, but it was nice to have that reassurance that we’re still on the right track to have a term (or close to term) baby.

today jim is going to our infant cpr and first aid class today. i wish i could go ):  i am glad that one of us will have this knowledge. i have taken a course like this in the past because i did a ton of babysitting- so i feel confident i’d be able to recall some of the most critical techniques. i suppose it really doesn’t matter though. we could always hire a full-time doctor in addition to the secret service agents (;

ok friends time for me to lay down again. thanks for reading!!

until next time. xxoo

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Bed rest is poorly named. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that is restful about it. Before experiencing it first hand, I was guilty of thinking it would actually be a treat to spend a few weeks of pregnancy on the couch having nothing else to do but watch my favorite movies and flip through my favorite magazines. What I failed to realize was just how terrifying, fearful and isolating bed rest really is (must be).  Imagine spending months on end either in your bed or on the couch. You could only get up (or sit up) to go to the bathroom or eat. Everyday seems the same. You cannot visit friends for lunch or enjoy a latte at your favorite coffee shop. You cannot go outside for a short stroll to clear your head. Does this still sound like rest? A retreat? I know people mean well when they say things like, “well enjoy this time because when the baby comes you’ll wish you had it back.” Bullshit! I would much rather deal with a crying infant that keeps me up all night than to have to endure another month of this. I haven’t been outside since last week!  My doctor’s appointments are the only time I leave the house. I haven’t breathed fresh air since then and I have no idea how cold it is outside. I would give anything for a shitty commute into work! It feels odd not to be “among the land of the living”. I feel like my days don’t have a purpose. There is nothing else or no one else  that I would go through this for except my child (and maybe Jim- although I cannot think of a reason I’d ever have to do bed rest for him). If  someone from Publisher’s Clearing House burst through my door and offered me a million dollars in exchange for going through bed rest again I would turn it down in a heartbeat!

Before this experience I did not have a birth plan. My “plan” was to show up to the hospital with my husband and go with it. My goal wasn’t to try to go all natural nor was it to go the medicated route. I just wanted to flow with labor and trust my instincts. If I was laboring just fine with breathing and yoga moves- then I’d continue. If, as labor progressed, it felt like someone poured gasoline on my crotch and threw a match at it, then I planned to have no reservations about asking for “the good stuff”.  I didn’t want to have everything mapped out in my head and then have to take another path. I want (and wanted) my birth experience to be as enjoyable as something like this can be.

If I’m able to carry our daughter to term (37 wks) I will have spent almost 3 months on bed rest. I consider this time as my labor because, for me, it  has been just that. I spend about 80 percent of my day in pain. My hips ache  because of the inactivity. If it’s not my hips it is my head or legs or neck. One of the side effects of the medication I take to prevent contractions are horrible headaches. On top of that throw in the on and off pressure and fear related to trying to do everything in your power to keep your baby in, safe and alive. This was a very real fear for me at the beginning of bed rest. There is nothing restful or peaceful about the possibility  of delivering a baby at 26 weeks gestation! It was mental agony and this has been the most challenging experience, physically and mentally, that I have had to face to date.  I would not wish this on my worst enemy! Wait, no, that was a lie. THIS, this  is actually what I WOULD wish on my worst enemy. This is why I’m counting this as my labor with this baby. It has been a labor of love, but it HAS been a labor nonetheless. I am done, finished, waving the white flag!

My birth plan now involves an epidural. Even if I wanted to, I feel I no longer have the mental or physical strength to manage labor without it. I’m so out of shape that just walking to the bathroom from the couch leaves me winded. I often times have to cradle my stomach to support the weight of it because my back muscles can no longer do the job. Sexy right? I know. During the mid-point of this pregnancy when I was able to do prenatal yoga at least 3 times a week, I felt strong. I felt powerful and my body felt like it could handle the pain of labor without medication if I chose to do it that way. That’s no longer the case. I know this in my core. In all honesty, even if by some miracle I could, I’m not sure I want to anymore. I’m over the pain associated with this pregnancy. I want to be able to enjoy bringing our little girl into the world. I want it to be the light at the end of this LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG journey. I think not being able to feel anything below my waist during labor and delivery will greatly help bring about this peace thankyouverymuch! I have made the best decision for me and I’m at peace with that. I’m looking forward to the baby experience and I don’t so much care HOW she gets here, just as long as we’re both healthy and safe at the end of it all.

In a few short weeks when Jim and I show up at the hospital to bring our baby girl into the world, my question to the first staff member I see won’t be, “where is labor and delivery?”, but “point me in the direction where I can get me one a’them epiduralmagigies. I’m gonna need one, stat!”

Until next time. xo

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It has happened. I’m either nesting or losing (more of) my mind! Let me preface this next paragraph by saying I know that these thoughts are NOT NORMAL and completely crazy. My rational self knows that these thoughts make no sense at all, but I can’t help myself.

I’ve entered the part of pregnancy known as “nesting”. I look around our home and think the craziest thoughts. It’s actually easier if I just list out some of the insane thoughts I’ve had over the past week or so.

Tanisha’s Crazy Thoughts (in no particular order):

– Is that dust on our baseboards ? We must clean and sanitize all of these baseboards before the baby gets here.

– Why is our carpet covered in dog hair!! No way will she be allowed to roll around in all of that. We MUST shave the dog! Problem. Solved.

– Why don’t we have bars on our windows? We live in a garden level condo. Anybody can just climb in our windows, grab our easily displayed, very sharp knives on the counter, kill us and take our baby. I need to ask the association if they’ll approve of us putting steel bars on all of our windows. Also, we need to hide these knives in a drawer somewhere!

– Speaking of security, I wonder how much it would cost to hire 2 security guards, wait, scratch that. I wonder how much it would cost to hire 2 secret service agents to follow our daughter around 24 hrs a day to make sure she’s safe at all times.

– DAMN you Nate Berkus!! Why haven’t you shown up to do our nursery! You’re so selfish! Get here quickly (and bring lattes). I’ve always wanted to share a latte with Nate Berkus! Perfect blend of best gay guy friend and awesome designer! BONUS.

See? Told ya! I can’t help myself. To all you moms our there- I get it now. I have always wondered why my mom insisted on talking to me at least once a day. When I was a freshmen in college she would call me every single day. If I did not call back she’d freak out and I could not understand why. When I’d finally call she would say she just wanted to call and make sure I was “ok”. I always thought she needed to chill the heck out! I get it now. Moms (and maybe some dads too) cannot help it. It’s a blessing and a curse. From the moment of conception we are biologically primed to be preoccupied with the safety and care of our offspring. It becomes our top priority to make sure this little being is protected at all times. I don’t think we can help it. That being said, I really really really do not want to hover and smother. I want baby girl to feel safe out in the world and to feel free to explore and spread her wings. I don’t want my neurosis to make her feel like the world is an awful/unsafe place. Reality is that there are BAD people out there and bad things happen sometimes. I just need to work on myself and work on trusting the universe to take care of our little girl. I still wouldn’t mind having those secret service agents though, just in case 🙂

Man, I’m gonna need some therapy! That means Jim will need some too because he has to deal with me 🙂 Happy wife, happy life, right?

Ok here are some photos for you. Think of them as mouthwash for your brain after reading the above.

Until next time! Thanks for checking up on us and your continued and unwavering support. We appreciate it and FEEL it!

Tanisha at a little over 30 weeks. This is what bedrest really looks like. 
I’m usually not all gussied up like I was in previous photos 🙂 

This is our travel system. I had no idea what a travel system was
until we needed one. It’s just our car seat AND stroller. I’m looking
forward to lots of springtime walks!

 

These will go in her nursery. Do you recognize them?

They are framed pages from the book, “The Giving Tree”. The nursery will have a tree theme. We have a huge tree decal that we haven’t put up yet. Once it’s up, I’ll show you. It’s pretty cool.

This is her baby. It was Jim’s when he was little. A family member of his made it for him.
There is even a “J” on the butt. See…

 

Baby Bag. LOVE it.

It has little milk bottles on it.

 

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Exhale

We went for our check up yesterday and left encouraged. Nothing of note really happened, but I think we all were more optimistic than we were last time. A huge part of that is because I’m past the 30 week milestone. I was  born around this gestational age and I’m (arguably) just fine 🙂 Even if bed rest doesn’t seem to be “improving” my cervix situation we can’t deny the fact that it must be doing something. How do we know this? Well, I’m still pregnant and we don’t have a baby yet.  We aren’t doing cervical checks anymore unless we have a reason. A reason would be if I’m having lots of contractions, leaking amniotic fluid or the baby seems to be in distress. None of these things are occurring (except for the random contraction here or there). I’m surprisingly glad we didn’t do a check yesterday. I was getting obsessive about it and it was really discouraging to see the negative changes happening bi-weekly. It was like a punch in the gut, especially when I was trying so so hard at bed rest. This way, the only gauge I have of success is remaining pregnant and how my body feels.

I’m still on strict bed rest and will be for at least the next 5 weeks. Dr. Roberts says that once I’m 35-36 weeks she’ll lift a lot of my current restrictions. I’m looking forward to at least being able to go out- even if it’s just for a short trip once a week. I’ll even take a walk around the block. It’s hard to be inside for weeks at a time and only being allowed to leave the house for doctor’s appointments. This has probably been harder mentally to endure than it has been to deal with the physical challenges of lying around all day. I don’t want to dwell too much on this though because my current goal is to just accept things as they are. I no longer want to judge this process as “good” or “bad”. Instead I just want to accept it as it is.

Our little princess is hanging in there and getting stronger. We listened to her heartbeat and she seems to be in there chilling and relaxing 🙂 She’s been very active lately and a great deal of her jabs and kicks now make me say “ouch” out loud.

Until next time! Happy Wednesday!!

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We’re starting to get the name question. Do we have a name picked out for her? The answer is, yes. It was easier to pick a girl name than it was for us to agree on a boy name. We’ve tabled our boy names and if we have one some day we’ll have to go back into the boxing ring 🙂 Although we have a name, we’re waiting until she’s born to share it. I’m not sure why Jim is on board with this, but I’ll include why I want to wait. I feel like we’re sharing so much already and THAT’S OK! I love including you all in on each step of this journey with us, especially in the wake of all that is going on. We NEED you and your support. We decided to share the sex already, so everyone already knows she’s a,well, SHE. I want people to have SOMETHING to look forward to.

First Name: We’ve chosen a name that will fit her at 8 yrs of age and at 80. We wanted something that is classic, but unique enough so that hopefully she’ll be the only one in her classroom with the name. Even before I was pregnant I heard this name and it just stuck. I’m glad Jim likes it to, it makes things a lot easier 🙂

Middle Name: Unlike her first name, her middle name was non negotiable 🙂 I kind of “lovingly” told Jim that if we had a girl that THIS is her middle name. It’s a family name on both Jim’s side and my side. It has special meaning and I’m thankful it flows so well with her first name.

So there you have it. She indeed has a name and we’re not keeping it a secret from you to be mean. We’re just keeping it wrapped up and you can open it (hopefully) after Christmas 🙂

Look what Daddy Jim did last night! Now she has a place to sleep in our room and we won’t have to put her in a dresser drawer. She’ll be in our room for awhile while she’s really little before moving into her nursery. Once that is put together I’ll show sneak peeks of that. Jim is currently putting together the travel system. Sparky is hiding under my feet because I think he fears it is some type of kennel we are going to force him into. LOL!

Until next time!

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We are doing good over here. They days are getting easier. Maybe it’s because we are getting into a groove or maybe it’s because we have been making a conscious effort to maintain a positive attitude. We’ve continued to be supported and loved by many friends and family. Our visitors have brought lots of positive energy into out home and have helped us pass the hours.

I’m feeling good. My body has felt better today than it has in the past. The little one was not moving as much today, but I think that’s because she’s going through a growth phase. When this has happened in the past I usually wake up the next day with a noticeably bigger midsection (:

I hope you all have great weekends! I will check in soon and have more to say. I’m currently typing on an iPad and it is so awkward to type on.

Edited to Include Photo:

Grandma Judy came to visit us for a few days this week. It was nice to have her motherly energy around. Sparky on the other hand hates her and it was a struggle to get him to come out of hiding to even say hello (;

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as things have gotten (more) serious. She’s not on Twitter, but said we could text her 🙂 I’m now on strict bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy. However long that may be.Today was our follow up appointment to check to see whether or not bed rest is helping. Short answer is, it’s not doing a damn thing to improve my cervix. In fact, it’s gotten shorter.  Our doctor, who usually throws around smiles freely and has been cautiously optimistic this whole time was markedly different today. When she came into the room this time there were no smiles and she told us right out that she “doesn’t like my cervix”. Well, Doc, neither do I!! I feel like that “B” has betrayed me and seems to have inherited my inability to wait for anything. We’re now taking this pregnancy week by week. Each week we can keep her in there potentially means less time baby girl may have to stay in the NICU. Dr. Roberts thinks if I’m still pregnant by Christmas we’ll be very lucky. We’re now hoping to at least make it to 33/34 weeks.  The hospital we’re delivering at has a level 3 NICU and can handle babies born after 30 weeks, so I’m hopeful that she won’t have to be transferred to another hospital if she does come before 2012.

Sidebar: I got my first steroid injection today. I wasn’t prepared for how it was given. I had to take it the same way the athletes do when they’re taking them illegally. NOT FUN! I have another one tomorrow morning. I wonder if I’ll be strong enough to rough Jim up
now? Probably not, but it’s a funny thought, right? Like maybe I’ll grow 10 times in size and turn green every time I get angry from here on out. In addition to the steroid injections, I’m taking a medication 3 times a day that will prevent contractions. Any type of contractions (even the “practice” ones) are a “no no” for me. They could change/shorten my cervix even more.

So now our main focus for the next “X” amount of weeks is keeping baby inside as long as we can. I think we’re both still trying to digest this news and prepare ourselves, the best we can, for what’s to come.  For a girl who likes to control everything, this has really been a learning period for me. I have ZERO control over this outcome and that has been hard as hell to swallow.

I’d like to end on a positive note. The baby is still a champ. She’s doing great and her cheeks looked fatter today. I want this baby to be as juicy as possible. Hefty/Chubby = Great for premature or pre term babies.

Well, I guess I better get comfortable of the couch as it’s my home from here on out.

Tanisha at a little over 28 weeks 

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