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Archive for June, 2012

Dear Esther,

Where have these 5 months gone? It seems like only yesterday you were this little ball of newborn flesh and hair that we carried home from the hospital. We were overwhelmed by both anxiety and joy. We were parents and you were finally here. Those next few weeks are mostly a blur as I danced through days and nights trying to keep up with mothering and remembering to take care of myself. It was no greater gift, though, then to spend those first precious months enveloped in everything you. As I write this I am overcome with emotion. It is very bittersweet as you embrace this life and meet each milestone (rolling over, holding your own bottle, learning to love bathtime).

I am 5 months old! Last month was the month of hands, this month is the month of feet. I’ve found them and I like them! I’m getting bigger and I like to play, play, play! I slept in my big girl bed (crib) for 2 nights, but I’m back in mommy and daddy’s room. Soon enough. I found out I have a dog, and I like to squeeze him.

You’re becoming your own person-a little girl and no longer (in my eyes anyway) a baby. I watch how fearless you sometimes are as you explore new things. Gone are the days when we made sure you were warm and fed and left you for a bit to lay quietly encircled by your Boppy Pillow. Now when we attempt the same you try to either fling yourself out of its grip and onto the couch or *gasp* the floor below. Luckily we’ve caught you before the latter has happened. You are our brave dragon baby! This month we experienced your first bought of scary sickness. You ran a fever and vomited for a few days. This resulted in two trips to the pediatrician and one late evening trip to the emergency room. It nearly killed me as I wanted to take your place. If I could, I would bear all your pain forever. It is a mother’s heart to feel this way I’m sure. But, that’s not reality so my job, our job-your father and I, is to prepare you for a sometimes cruel and unforgiving world. I see strength in you little one. You can handle it. You are very brave and oftentimes you are my teacher and not the other way around. When you were nestled against my chest as I held you   in the emergency room hot, tired and sick- nonetheless – you were curious of your surroundings and smiled at almost everyone who interacted with you. I was so proud. Even while sick you wanted to be, well…YOU. You are a light, Esther. You make us so very happy and we were so lucky to get you. You are the best baby…person. That’s were the bittersweet comes in. Every day moves you closer and closer to your independence and farther away from your dependence on us. You won’t be our baby forever and so I try to hang on to every morsel of these moments, this time we have with you as our baby. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to see what you do with this precious life because I know deep in my soul it will be good. No matter what though, your father and I will be there to bear witness and proclaim, “that’s our girl!”

We love you bear cub! Happy 5 months.

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“I am 4 months old! I know! I’ve discovered my hands. I can’t get enough of them. I like to look at them, touch them together and put them all up in my mouth..YUM! I love my morning time with daddy, and my snuggle time with mommy at bedtime. I love to laugh and smile and sing songs. Oh, and I love to give speeches to my toys. I hang out at daycare all day with my friends. I like that too.”

 
 
 
Esther’s 4 month appointment went well.  She is 60% percentile for weight, 50% for head circumference and 40% for height. What does all of that mean? Pretty much that she’s perfect and the smartest baby in the world, which we knew already, right?? (;  She took the shots again like a champ. Just screamed for a little, then daddy picked her up- mommy fed her and she was fine for the rest of the evening.
 
Another exciting development this month is that  Lady E can roll from her back to her belly now. I was so excited for her to learn that.  The first time she did it she looked around and was so proud of herself. It was very cute. Then I proceeded to watch her face plant and move her head back to back on the ground as if she were stuck. You see my (the) problem here, right? So I rushed to flip her over again and scared the crap out of her! That made both of us! I wanted so  badly for her to learn how to roll over and then immediately wished she couldn’t ever do that again (especially at night, which is, of course, exactly what she did later on that night). Thus begun “the great rolling over no sleep torture”. Three nights in a row I got no sleep because I’d keep staring at her to make sure she was still on her back and or side. Then I’d watch her roll over and get stuck. I’d flip her on to her back and she’d immediately roll over again. She’s a determined one. When I brought it up to the doctor he understood ( as last time my intense worry was “the choking). He said that the most important was that I was sleeping. A child needs rested and alert parents, so if that meant she’d have to sleep in her car seat for me to feel secure, then by all means she could. I tried that for 1/2  the night on Wednesday and just felt so sorry for her. She looked comfortable enough, but I know I wouldn’t  be so comfy sleeping sitting up. I took her out of the car seat and put her into the pack n play next to our bed after her 3 am feeding. Then she began to roll again and I almost threw myself to the floor and rolled around causing a temper tantrum of my own. SOMETHING had to be done. So, I took my struggle(s) to Facebook. Oh the beauty of social networking! Another Momma came up with a GREAT  idea! I altered her “invention” a little to work for us and it worked!! Esther can’t roll and momma can sleep!!
 
So here was the other momma’s solution to our problem:

Photo credit to Carla Peraza
 
Here is mine. I used a soft scarf to tie it all the way around the mattress (since she isn’t in a crib yet).
 
Also new this month was Esther’s first car trip. She went to visit her grandparents who live a little over 3 hours southwest of the Twin Cities. She did “ok”. We have to make sure to target her nap time and she’s fine to nap 1/2 the way. She slept a long stretch of time. Then we’d stop to stretch and to feed and change her, then back into the car for the second part of the drive. That was the more difficult stretch because she was awake then, rested and wanted to play but instead was strapped in. She didn’t cry the entire time, but she made it clear that she had had it! We were proud of her though for being such a good little trooper and it was great bonding time for her and the grandparents.We are looking forward to a summer of fun. She loves bath time so we will have to take her swimming so she can splash until she’s worn out!Thanks again for reading!

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