41 things i’ve learned so far on my 41st birthday

4 year old Tanisha
  1. you are the one you’ve been waiting for
  2. no one is coming to save you, you’ve had the power all along my dear
  3. my daughters are my best friends. i know it in the core of who i am that i was meant to be their mom
  4. and their dad (heart emoji) he loves me in a way that is perfect for who i am and who he is. we were meant to meet and create this life together
  5. if it’s not working, leave it and start all over again. it’s better that way than to fight a losing battle
  6. “learn to tell the difference between your intuition guiding you and your trauma misleading you.”
  7. courage over comfort- always
  8. you will never ever have enough if you’re seeking to fill a void with the wrong thing(s)
  9. trust yourself
  10. happiness is an inside job
  11. yoga is my church (although i could do better at showing up on the mat, i do bring yoga off the mat into my days often)
  12. leaving me alone all day in a dark room to watch horror movies (or crime shows) is my love language
  13. coffee is a part of my DNA
  14. people say “look before you leap” but sometimes if you look too long you’ll just talk yourself out of leaping when leaping is the EXACT thing you need to do
  15. sometimes no response is the best response
  16. forgiveness is not a requirement…
  17. neither is healing. it’s okay to sit with things for awhile or forever
  18. play
  19. dance
  20. when shopping, always take the next one in. never select the item in front that everyone has touched. yuck.
  21. everything is always fine in the end, isn’t it?
  22. don’t do shit you don’t like (yes, i recognize there is privilege in that)
  23. build your own table and/or bring your own seat
  24. question everything
  25. get at the root of things instead of addressing the symptoms
  26. it’s important to have to soul friends ( i feel so blessed to have more than a few)
  27. i wasn’t supposed to make it, but i just keep showing up and doing my best
  28. everything and everyone one is connected
  29. it’s okay to say “i don’t know” when you really don’t know. i wish people did that more instead of making up fake/wrong/dangerous answers
  30. “no” is a complete sentence
  31. radical self love is the movement and i’ve been here for it
  32. schedule downtime just like you do every other important appointment
  33. your worth is not tied up in what you can achieve or produce
  34. no one gets through this alone- accept the help when it’s offered
  35. ancestors watch over us, angels watch over us, spirit guides watch over us, the creator watches over us…remember to honor and thank them
  36. seek to be in right relationship with all living things
  37. belly laughs and the giggles = THE BEST
  38. don’t make any big decisions when you’re feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired
  39. make it count
  40. when you find yourself saying, “i wish someone would do this” or “i wish someone would do that.” remember that you’re also SOMEONE, so maybe you could do those things
  41. nobody else can make the sound you make. there is no one in the whole world like you AND people can love you just the way you are

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