Posts Tagged ‘Bed Rest’

Bed rest is poorly named. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that is restful about it. Before experiencing it first hand, I was guilty of thinking it would actually be a treat to spend a few weeks of pregnancy on the couch having nothing else to do but watch my favorite movies and flip through my favorite magazines. What I failed to realize was just how terrifying, fearful and isolating bed rest really is (must be).  Imagine spending months on end either in your bed or on the couch. You could only get up (or sit up) to go to the bathroom or eat. Everyday seems the same. You cannot visit friends for lunch or enjoy a latte at your favorite coffee shop. You cannot go outside for a short stroll to clear your head. Does this still sound like rest? A retreat? I know people mean well when they say things like, “well enjoy this time because when the baby comes you’ll wish you had it back.” Bullshit! I would much rather deal with a crying infant that keeps me up all night than to have to endure another month of this. I haven’t been outside since last week!  My doctor’s appointments are the only time I leave the house. I haven’t breathed fresh air since then and I have no idea how cold it is outside. I would give anything for a shitty commute into work! It feels odd not to be “among the land of the living”. I feel like my days don’t have a purpose. There is nothing else or no one else  that I would go through this for except my child (and maybe Jim- although I cannot think of a reason I’d ever have to do bed rest for him). If  someone from Publisher’s Clearing House burst through my door and offered me a million dollars in exchange for going through bed rest again I would turn it down in a heartbeat!

Before this experience I did not have a birth plan. My “plan” was to show up to the hospital with my husband and go with it. My goal wasn’t to try to go all natural nor was it to go the medicated route. I just wanted to flow with labor and trust my instincts. If I was laboring just fine with breathing and yoga moves- then I’d continue. If, as labor progressed, it felt like someone poured gasoline on my crotch and threw a match at it, then I planned to have no reservations about asking for “the good stuff”.  I didn’t want to have everything mapped out in my head and then have to take another path. I want (and wanted) my birth experience to be as enjoyable as something like this can be.

If I’m able to carry our daughter to term (37 wks) I will have spent almost 3 months on bed rest. I consider this time as my labor because, for me, it  has been just that. I spend about 80 percent of my day in pain. My hips ache  because of the inactivity. If it’s not my hips it is my head or legs or neck. One of the side effects of the medication I take to prevent contractions are horrible headaches. On top of that throw in the on and off pressure and fear related to trying to do everything in your power to keep your baby in, safe and alive. This was a very real fear for me at the beginning of bed rest. There is nothing restful or peaceful about the possibility  of delivering a baby at 26 weeks gestation! It was mental agony and this has been the most challenging experience, physically and mentally, that I have had to face to date.  I would not wish this on my worst enemy! Wait, no, that was a lie. THIS, this  is actually what I WOULD wish on my worst enemy. This is why I’m counting this as my labor with this baby. It has been a labor of love, but it HAS been a labor nonetheless. I am done, finished, waving the white flag!

My birth plan now involves an epidural. Even if I wanted to, I feel I no longer have the mental or physical strength to manage labor without it. I’m so out of shape that just walking to the bathroom from the couch leaves me winded. I often times have to cradle my stomach to support the weight of it because my back muscles can no longer do the job. Sexy right? I know. During the mid-point of this pregnancy when I was able to do prenatal yoga at least 3 times a week, I felt strong. I felt powerful and my body felt like it could handle the pain of labor without medication if I chose to do it that way. That’s no longer the case. I know this in my core. In all honesty, even if by some miracle I could, I’m not sure I want to anymore. I’m over the pain associated with this pregnancy. I want to be able to enjoy bringing our little girl into the world. I want it to be the light at the end of this LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG journey. I think not being able to feel anything below my waist during labor and delivery will greatly help bring about this peace thankyouverymuch! I have made the best decision for me and I’m at peace with that. I’m looking forward to the baby experience and I don’t so much care HOW she gets here, just as long as we’re both healthy and safe at the end of it all.

In a few short weeks when Jim and I show up at the hospital to bring our baby girl into the world, my question to the first staff member I see won’t be, “where is labor and delivery?”, but “point me in the direction where I can get me one a’them epiduralmagigies. I’m gonna need one, stat!”

Until next time. xo


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We’re starting to get the name question. Do we have a name picked out for her? The answer is, yes. It was easier to pick a girl name than it was for us to agree on a boy name. We’ve tabled our boy names and if we have one some day we’ll have to go back into the boxing ring 🙂 Although we have a name, we’re waiting until she’s born to share it. I’m not sure why Jim is on board with this, but I’ll include why I want to wait. I feel like we’re sharing so much already and THAT’S OK! I love including you all in on each step of this journey with us, especially in the wake of all that is going on. We NEED you and your support. We decided to share the sex already, so everyone already knows she’s a,well, SHE. I want people to have SOMETHING to look forward to.

First Name: We’ve chosen a name that will fit her at 8 yrs of age and at 80. We wanted something that is classic, but unique enough so that hopefully she’ll be the only one in her classroom with the name. Even before I was pregnant I heard this name and it just stuck. I’m glad Jim likes it to, it makes things a lot easier 🙂

Middle Name: Unlike her first name, her middle name was non negotiable 🙂 I kind of “lovingly” told Jim that if we had a girl that THIS is her middle name. It’s a family name on both Jim’s side and my side. It has special meaning and I’m thankful it flows so well with her first name.

So there you have it. She indeed has a name and we’re not keeping it a secret from you to be mean. We’re just keeping it wrapped up and you can open it (hopefully) after Christmas 🙂

Look what Daddy Jim did last night! Now she has a place to sleep in our room and we won’t have to put her in a dresser drawer. She’ll be in our room for awhile while she’s really little before moving into her nursery. Once that is put together I’ll show sneak peeks of that. Jim is currently putting together the travel system. Sparky is hiding under my feet because I think he fears it is some type of kennel we are going to force him into. LOL!

Until next time!

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We are doing good over here. They days are getting easier. Maybe it’s because we are getting into a groove or maybe it’s because we have been making a conscious effort to maintain a positive attitude. We’ve continued to be supported and loved by many friends and family. Our visitors have brought lots of positive energy into out home and have helped us pass the hours.

I’m feeling good. My body has felt better today than it has in the past. The little one was not moving as much today, but I think that’s because she’s going through a growth phase. When this has happened in the past I usually wake up the next day with a noticeably bigger midsection (:

I hope you all have great weekends! I will check in soon and have more to say. I’m currently typing on an iPad and it is so awkward to type on.

Edited to Include Photo:

Grandma Judy came to visit us for a few days this week. It was nice to have her motherly energy around. Sparky on the other hand hates her and it was a struggle to get him to come out of hiding to even say hello (;

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as things have gotten (more) serious. She’s not on Twitter, but said we could text her 🙂 I’m now on strict bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy. However long that may be.Today was our follow up appointment to check to see whether or not bed rest is helping. Short answer is, it’s not doing a damn thing to improve my cervix. In fact, it’s gotten shorter.  Our doctor, who usually throws around smiles freely and has been cautiously optimistic this whole time was markedly different today. When she came into the room this time there were no smiles and she told us right out that she “doesn’t like my cervix”. Well, Doc, neither do I!! I feel like that “B” has betrayed me and seems to have inherited my inability to wait for anything. We’re now taking this pregnancy week by week. Each week we can keep her in there potentially means less time baby girl may have to stay in the NICU. Dr. Roberts thinks if I’m still pregnant by Christmas we’ll be very lucky. We’re now hoping to at least make it to 33/34 weeks.  The hospital we’re delivering at has a level 3 NICU and can handle babies born after 30 weeks, so I’m hopeful that she won’t have to be transferred to another hospital if she does come before 2012.

Sidebar: I got my first steroid injection today. I wasn’t prepared for how it was given. I had to take it the same way the athletes do when they’re taking them illegally. NOT FUN! I have another one tomorrow morning. I wonder if I’ll be strong enough to rough Jim up
now? Probably not, but it’s a funny thought, right? Like maybe I’ll grow 10 times in size and turn green every time I get angry from here on out. In addition to the steroid injections, I’m taking a medication 3 times a day that will prevent contractions. Any type of contractions (even the “practice” ones) are a “no no” for me. They could change/shorten my cervix even more.

So now our main focus for the next “X” amount of weeks is keeping baby inside as long as we can. I think we’re both still trying to digest this news and prepare ourselves, the best we can, for what’s to come.  For a girl who likes to control everything, this has really been a learning period for me. I have ZERO control over this outcome and that has been hard as hell to swallow.

I’d like to end on a positive note. The baby is still a champ. She’s doing great and her cheeks looked fatter today. I want this baby to be as juicy as possible. Hefty/Chubby = Great for premature or pre term babies.

Well, I guess I better get comfortable of the couch as it’s my home from here on out.

Tanisha at a little over 28 weeks 

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I haven’t posted anything the past few days because it’s been pretty quiet around here. That’s good in my opinion. I welcome calm and quiet right now even if it drives me crazy sometimes.

I’ll just include a few highlights from the last few days.

1) Visitors- we’ve had a couple of visitors and it’s been a welcomed treat. It’s nice to have people to chat with besides the two of us. I mean we love each other but I think we’re running out of new stories to tell one another. Especially when one of us is pretty much stuck on the couch all day. Also, some have brought yummy food. BONUS! It gives Jim a break from his cooking/nursing duties. Speaking of….

2)Jim – He has been a wonderful nurse and companion. I appreciate his presence and help right now. Even if it means I have to share the remote now and again. I mean there is only so much “Say Yes to the Dress” a guy’s guy can watch, right? He keeps me from falling into a dark place and feeling completely isolated so I’m glad it worked out that he’s home for awhile right now.

3)Emails- they help me stay connected. I’ve enjoyed reading about what is happening “out there” while I’m “in here”. I’ve heard from friends, family, co workers, my fav teachers from Blooma and even my doctor. Being in this position has really made me most appreciative of all the love and support our little family has. It will be nice to welcome our little one into such a community.

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*I feel like I lose more and more brain cells every day I spend resting on the couch. I apologize in advance for any grammatical mistakes or senseless ramblings that may occur in the following posts.

We have felt so blessed by the showering of kind words, prayers and good thoughts sent our way by family and friends. We are very appreciative and we are so so thankful to know that there are so many people out there wishing us well. It’s nice to know that even though we don’t see you all every day, you are out there and you care. MANY MANY thanks.

One of the main themes from all of the emails we’ve received lately has been the importance of positive thinking throughout this journey. I spend my days bouncing between positive thoughts and tragic outcomes. It’s really hard to maintain hope when I feel  so lousy physically . I don’t know if it’s the lying around or if it’s the lack of exercise, but my body hurts and I feel like I’m losing brain cells each day I’m inside watching another TV program or knitting. On the other hand, I feel like everything is as it should be. During times of second guessing and struggle I read this and it helps me to put things into perspective. I have to trust in this process and know that it is for a reason. The quicker I can surrender to this experience, the easier the rest of the ride will be.

I laid in bed awhile this morning before getting up and thought about our daughter and how excited I am to be her mom. I thought about all the things I’m excited to do with (or is it, to) her. Here’s my list of favorites so far:

1) I can’t wait to put a tracking device on her cell phone so I’ll know where she is at all times.

2) I can’t wait for her boyfriend to call the house and I’ll say, “Oh, I thought she was with you already. Some guy just came to pick her up, I thought that was you.”

3) I can’t wait for her to threaten to run away and then I’ll pull a suitcase from the closet and pack her bags for her.

See! I’m going to be such a great mom!

I can’t take sole credit for number 3. That one came from  “Irene’s Book of Awesome Parenting”. My mom actually did this to me. I swear you could not out argue or out wit that woman. She must have been trained by the CIA in mental manipulation or something. She would always say (like a lot of parents do) “You’ll thank me some day.” It’s so true. I’m so glad that she gave me enough rules to keep me in line, but also enough love to give me courage and confidence.  Anyway, back  number 3. I was about 7 years old and we had had a fight about something. I stomped my feet and screamed, “Fine then, I’m running away!” Imagine my feelings of utter terror and amazement when she responded, “Good. I’ll miss you, but I’ll help you pack!” Not wanting to lose face (yeah, I was such a brat) I helped her shove things into a little blue suitcase. I think I spent a good hour outside in our yard before I rang the doorbell and apologized. Not so much because I was actually sorry, more so because I was 7 and I had packed my bags and literally had nowhere to go. What I can say though, is that it was a good lesson and I never threatened to run away again. If I’m 1/4 of the mother my mom was to me, baby A is in for a fun ride.

Me and Irene. I think I was about 4.

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*Halloween 2011.I’m including this photo because it’s the most up to date preggo picture I have. (26 weeks)

At my 24 week appointment my doctor  informed me that she noticed
something from my 20 week ultrasound and wanted to take another look
at baby girl’s heart so we scheduled that ultrasound for Tuesday, Nov 1st.

Jim and I went in early because I also had to do the gestational
diabetes test and blood test to check my iron. Luckily my iron is fine
and I passed the diabetes test with flying colors. The other good news
is that the baby’s heart now looks just fine and she’s almost 3lbs
already!!! We even got to see her open her eyes and yawn. During the
ultrasound though, the technician noticed that my cervix was funneling and
opening a little. That’s not good.

We met with our doctor afterwards and she said that if I were in my first or second
trimester she’d place a stitch in my cervix to keep it closed but since
I’m at the beginning of my third it’s too late for that so she put me on bed
rest. We go back in two weeks for another ultrasound. At that time
we’ll also begin steroid injections to speed along the maturity of
baby girl’s lungs so that if she does come early that will help her
with her breathing.

Now it’s full day 3 of bed rest and it’s been a LONG 3 days! What keeps me motivated is knowing that I’m doing what’s best for the little baby girl who still needs time inside.

Oh, before I close, here’s  a preview of my days in photos.

Here’s my nest

Here’s my collection of pillows (aka my new besties)

Here’s my lovely view

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