I filled out our registration paperwork for the hospital. I just wanted it checked off the list. Some things I let go until the last possible second, but other things I need to get done ASAP or else they haunt me until I make them go away. I wanted to get those forms filled out so they would be all set to go when it came time to hurry off to the hospital to become a family of 3 (4 if you count Sparky). On one of the forms it asks the race of Jim and I. For me I listed “Black” and for him I listed “White”. I HATE forms like this! What does it matter? I’m not Pollyanna-ish and I know that in this country, unfortunately, race still matters. On this form I wondered what they will list for our daughter. Does any one know? Will they list her as “Other”, “Bi-Racial” or “Mixed Race”. I don’t even know nowadays what’s PC. What I do know is that “Mulatto” is out. It’s offensive to call a human Mulatto. My wish is that we will get to a point where we won’t have to label ourselves when it comes to race. I have always believed that race was cultural and not biological. 99.9% of our DNA across racial lines is the same. We are more alike, biologically, than we are different.
Look at these children. Do you know what they all have in common?
Besides being cutie patooties, all of these kids come families where one parent is black and the other, white. Reality is that our daughter could look more like Jim or have a complexion more like mine or a special blend of both. We really don’t care. We just want her to be healthy and happy. My hope is that while she’s growing up, others won’t care either. I hope that one day we won’t be able to look at people and put them into a box (of stereotypes). We will look around and we won’t visually be able to distinguish what race we all are. I can’t wait for that. We will be forced to judge people just as Martin wanted us to; by the content of character and not color of skin.
My hope is that we are able to raise our daughter to be proud of her individual achievements and less about things she had no hand in controlling. I’m not saying that we won’t teach her about her heritage. I very much want her to know about her ancestors and family history. I think it’s special for each person to know this information if it’s available to them. I want her to have confidence and pride in herself and know that if she works hard she can achieve anything she wants to. For me (us) that’s what’s MOST important.
Some day when someone looks at my (our) daughter and asks, “what are you?” I hope she smiles and replies, “awesome” and walks away.
That would make me a very proud momma!
Our next doctor’s appointment is Tuesday. I’ll be back to check in then. Also, we’re quickly approaching our first goal of 30 weeks!! I’m so so so so so happy to make it to that point! 4 weeks ago I was unsure if we’d make it here. I’m so happy we’re pretty much there already and I’m almost sure I can make it to 32. If not, oh well. I’m trying each day to let go of expectations and timelines. I need to let go and know that she’ll come whenever she does and we will deal with it them. I can no longer worry and stress about all of this and try to cook a baby at the same time. I’m taking it one day at a time.
Thanks for checking in!
Until next time.
One Reply to “No Boxes”
you are awesome, Tanisha. your girl will be equally “awesome” too. 🙂